Villains don't get Santa's presents, do they?
by LadyPalma
Summary: Regina finds a strange letter from Hook addressed to Santa Claus. It's her duty to tell him the truth about the red-dressed man: he only brings present to children... and to the good ones!


_Dear Mr Santa Claus,_

_I've been told that you could grant anyone's wishes.__So, this is what I ask for Christmas: first I want my Jolly Roger back (or if you can't dothat, I may also be satisfied with a new ship), then some new clothes because people here are strange and don't get my piratish style. Also, some bottles of good rhum would be nice._

_Thank you in advance, I'll be waiting for you. I have to inform you that here at Granny's I don't have a fireplace, so see how you can come._

Regina stopped reading right before the signature and slowly put the piece of paper down on the table, while an amused smile started to form on her lips.

"What the hell is this, Captain?" she finally asked, biting her lower lip trying hard not to burst into laughters.

Hook froze in place hearing that very familiar voice behind his back and only after some moments, decided to look away from the window and turn around to face the new arrived. The door unlocked, the mocking expression on the woman's face and her purple gloved hand still resting on the list he had just finished to write.

It wasn't difficult to do the math and he was actually _screwed_.

"I haven't heard knocking..." he finally managed to say.

That weak attempt to change the topic didn't work and only made her smile turn into a mischievious one for a moment. As a matter of fact, the queen never knocked on his door. Now that they had found themselves alone once again in their life, they had somehow found a strange agreement, something that could be named in other words 'frienemies with benefits'. As soon as she wanted, she went to his room for rent -without knocking- and they had some good hot sex; it wasn't love of course, but it was still good enough to fill for a while the void.

Anyway, if Regina was there for sex she had chosen a bad moment, since the recent discovery did surely kill the mood.

"You are not answering" she pointed out stubbornly "Please, tell me it's not what I think it is..."

Without answering again, he suddenly regained control of his body and quickly approached her, grabbing firmly but yet gently her arm.

"Give it back" he commanded trying to make it sound like a treat, but the pleading expression on his face betrayed something different, it was more like a plea.

Regina didn't struggle from the grip and just looked back at him for a while. Then, she sighed softly and took her hand back, sitting down right in front of the table.

"Care to tell me now?" she asked for the third time, crossing her arms to her chest, waiting for an answer that was no more delayable now.

"Fine!" he agreed this time, not looking back at her, though "Henry told me about this special man and I just thought that I could have tried myself...Don't I deserve some presents too?"

The awkwardness in his voice was evident and was making such a strong contrast with the hopeful meaning of his words and most of all with his character. He was a two hundred years old villain! The unlikely scene was making her even more harder not to laugh, but anyway she let out only a brief incredulous chuckle.

"Please Captain, I have already a child... I can't afford two"

"I'm not acting childish" he protested immediately, feeling offended by the implicit comparison "What? Are you telling me that Santa won't come?"

At that question he seemed almost lost and she suddenly started to feel, along with amusement, also a strange sense of sweetness. So, she found herself taking his only hand in hers and giving him a soft smile.

"Let's just say that he only comes for children..." she started.

"Oh, I should have stayed in Neverland then..."

"Besides he only brings present to the good and nice ones"

Killian raised an eyebrow at the last add and then sighed deeply, showing his fake -and maybe also a bit real- disappointment.

"I get it... Villains don't get Santa's presents, do they?"

The echo of a long dated conversation between them flashed in both their mind and she finally refused any attempt to hold her laugh back.

"You are right..." she agreed, chuckling "Fuck off the happy ending! That is the real problem!"

A chuckle escaped Hook's lips too and for some moments they remained there, just looking at each other and letting their laugh slowly increase, freely.

Anyway, his laugh found at some point the way to turn into a mischievious grin and, as if nothing ever happened, he was ready to reset the meeting and give it a new chance.

"Well, I'm going to have a shower..." he informed her in fact "if you want to join me... The door's unlocked"

Regina nodded, silently agreeing to the plan and returned the teasing smile. But when he disappeared with the already half unbuttoned shirt, she allowed herself some moments before following him. In the very moment she was about to stand up, her look fell in fact on the letter again and only at second glance she noted that it didn't finish with the captain's signature and there were actually a few other sentences for her left to read.

_P.S. Do not forget to bring something for the Queen too. __She deserves a present and some happiness too, after all._

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><p><em>Hello! just a short HQ funny (and maybe a bit fluffy) one-shot about Christmas, as a wish of Merry Christmas! (even to the naughty ones LoL).<em>


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